Save Marriage – Avoid These Pitfalls That Might Cause a Divorce!

What do you think is the main cause of a main cause of divorce? Marriage! It's true, because without marriages, there will not be divorces! Nevertheless, this did not seem to stop people from getting married and then filing for a divorce later. That is probably the reason why the divorce rate is still so high!

Some may say that a good solution to this problem is for the couple to really get to know each other before they get married. As such, cohabitation might not be such a bad idea after all! Wrong! Studies have shown that couples who are more likely to file for divorces are actually the ones who had cohabited before their marriage. Thus, it is not true to say that the differences between couples can be ironed out before their marriage.

Even if you had personally witnessed the pitfalls to a marriage because your parents had been through a divorce or that you have close friends or relatives who had failed marriages so you thought you should be well aware of how to avoid getting into such a situation yourself. You may think that you are already an expert on the topic of divorce and so you will be well aware of how to preserve your own marriage.

Unfortunately, you are wrong again! Studies have again shown that the ones who had come from broken homes are actually the ones who are more prone to divorces themselves. This is probably because they feel that getting a divorce is a piece of cake and so they will not be too bothered about it and will not put in effort to prevent it from happening.

Although the causes of divorces are different to each couple because everyone is unique, it is still apparent that the most common pitfall is the lack of communication between the couple. When couples do not take the effort to communicate with each other and are not committed to making their marriage work, it is obvious that the only possible outcome is a divorce.

When there is no commitment between the couple, there is hardly anything that one can do to save the marriage. What they may not realize is that the lack of communication is really the easiest pitfall to avoid because all you have to do to maintain a strong bonding is to spend time to talk to each other everyday. Both of you have to ensure that your wants and needs are made known to each other, so that you can both work hand-in-hand towards a common goal.

Another common cause of divorces is infidelity and this issue is the hardest to resolve. Some may feel that as long both spouses work hard at caring for each other and take the effort to build an ideal home, no one should have a reason to stray. However, that does not seem to be the case in real life as infidelity still happens regardless of how loving the other party might be. It all bounds down to the individual's self control.

Abuse in a marriage is also a possible cause for divorce. These abuses could be in the form of emotional, physical, sexual, drugs or alcoholic. If a relationship is found to be abusive, the best way to get help is from a professional. Don’t try to solve the problem on your own as the abuses could get worse and even get out of hand. It is more advisable to seek help immediately when the problem surfaces.

These are just some causes of divorces and you should avoid them at all costs. Other pitfalls include financial difficulties, lack of sexual activities between the couple, lack of maturity as well as differences in opinions on the upbringing of their children. In order to avoid ending the marriage with a divorce, the best way is to find out about the possible causes, learn the ways to avoid them and start making a point to communicate with each other!

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Love and Trust - The Bedrock of Successful Marriages

What brings people together most times are what they discover to have in common. It may be social, political, health or other features that could be attractive to them. Once people get close because of one factor or the other, attraction develops within the people. They are called friends at this stage because they share things in common, and could hold one another in confidence even on confidential issues. From this point, a bond is developed because they can hold each other in confidence in any situation. Holding each other in confidence no matter what may be is called trust. This attribute creates the platform for an enduring relationship.

Trust is believing in the other person at all times and in all situations. Trust means not doubting due to rumours but waiting to hear from your partner. Trust means suspecting that the rumour mongers are jealous of your beautiful relationship and have come to destroy. It also means not listening to any such rumours concerning your relationship. Because you trust, you can love and be loved.

Love is built over time when trust has been established. You cannot love if you cannot trust and you will only love or be loved if you can trust. In any relationship, if there is no trust, there will be chaos- cheating, quarelling, fighting, telling lies, etc. Happiness will vanish and love will die. Love means giving one's self to another without looking forward to a reward. Trust is holding firmly that your partner is always true to you in whatever circumstance. These two elements- love and trust make an enduring relationship. We should always work hard to have them as attributes of our relationships. Failure to have true love and trust faithfully leads to fights, divorce, hatred and family separation. Sacrificing for the good of the other is what love is all about. Doing all you can to ensure that your partner is always happy is true love. Believing that there can never be another one like the man or woman you married brings about perfect love. My experience in marriage is that love is sweet and even sweeter than honey. I will always be in love with my darling wife even at a ripe old age and I am fully convinced that that is her decision for me too. Because we truly trust each other and our love know no bounds. You need to show love everywhere you are for life to get better today

Tips For a Successful Marriage

Have you wondered why many marriages crumble a short while after they are established? Do you stay to ponder why a man or a woman after several years of marriage and having made children conclude that it was high time they parted ways? Well this may be the case if the following are not done!
1. BEFORE YOUR WEDDING
It is very important that you know whom you want to spend the rest of your life with inside out. How?
a) What is the background of your would be partner? Who are the parents? What do they do for a living? What is their philosophy of life? How did your to be life partner grow up? Are the parents always quarreling and fighting or are they divorced/separated? What are the likes and dislikes of your partner? How do your beliefs and aspirations blend with his/hers? Does he or she believe in you?
b) Decide from your findings in (a) above whether this person is actually who you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Can the shortcomings discovered be improved upon? The love required in marriage is beyond human comprehension. The greatest mistake most youths make is to marry out of sentiments! You can date anybody, but it is not every one you date that is a marriage material. You will need to 'shine your eyes' before you venture into any marriage relationship.
c) Take the ultimate decision. From (a) and (b) above decide to go ahead with the wedding or cancel it out rightly and take responsibility for your action. My people say that "MARRIAGE IS LIKE A PARCEL, WHATEVER YOU SEE WHEN IT IS OPENED YOU TAKE". The moment you get married. It is for life. You will bear the consequences of choosing to marry him/her.
2. WHILE IN THE MARRIAGE.
These are the things that should go on in your home.
I. Truthfulness - Remember God is truth. You must have sincerity of purpose at all times and in all situations. At no time should you lie to each other. The moment this happens, you will need to tell more lies to cover up and one day the truth will be told. It will be viewed as betrayal.
ii) Trust- Believe in yourself and in your partner. Always believe that what he/she told you is the truth and nothing but the truth. Listen not to gossips for many may not be happy that you have a happy relationship. There is no friend or relation that should be trusted more than your partner. Trust is the bedrock of a successful relationship.
iii) Communicate- Talk about everything and about every situation. Nothing should be seen as very trivial to be discussed. Your partner did what you did not like? Find time and talk about it. You were overwhelmed by his or her actions in any situation? find time to say you were overwhelm by that single action. You are happy for this or for that, please discuss it. Communication brings about openness to one another. Listening to each other is another important part of communication. You should be patient enough to hear your partner out in any circumstance. If not how will you know the crux of the matter? Listen and then ask questions and listen again.
iv) Show care and understanding- Whenever your partner is upset you should show that his/her being upset affects you and look for ways to create a happy atmosphere. Give yourselves freely to each other and let it be as though your lives depend 150% on each other!
v) Love- In all things put on love. For love covers all things. Love is patient, love is kind, and love is faithful and trustworthy. Love is not jealous and cannot be upset.

So keep your marriage with Love.